One year ago, after COVID-19 was declared a pandemic and our lives turned upside down, my life, like most peoples’, was complete and utter chaos. I had to learn how to navigate homeschooling my 3 children – then aged 1, 5 and 7, working my full time job remotely, and dealing with every day life stressors. I lie awake every night silently going mad. I was lost. I was angry. I was lonely. I was apprehensive about the unknown. Fearful for my family’s safety.
What kept me somewhat grounded was writing – something I hadn’t done in a while other than writing my children’s birth poems, which I had written right before each was born. And so a love of mine that had long been lost (writing) was thankfully found and became my saving grace. It was the piece that had been missing from me. I don’t know why or how I lost it. Somewhere between crossing over from “single life” to married life to becoming a mom to becoming a caregiver for my own parents, whatever it was that defined me became blurred as I started becoming whatever everyone else needed me to be, rather than the person I needed me to be.
About a week or two into the global lockdown and toilet paper frenzy, I found my passion for writing again, and I wrote this poem. I remembered to “just breathe” and take each day one moment at a time. I made the conscious choice to be present and this has made all the difference and has ignited the spark that makes me – me, that I had almost forgotten.
I must admit that being present and showing myself a little TLC – physically, emotionally and spiritually – is something I must practice every day… Again, I have made the conscious choice to be present and to love myself. If there’s one thing this pandemic has taught me, it’s to embrace the moments that matter the most.
This poem is dedicated to the lives remembered for those our family lost in 2020: Grandpa Robert Meske, Aunt Linda Weaver, Uncle Art Greenstein and of course, our fur-baby of 14 years, Diesel. Rest in Peace. We love you always.
There's a pandemic among us A pandemic of fear The unknown of tomorrow And what we hold dear Time moves by slowly Yet today arrived and departed so fast Some embrace these moments While others cry, "How long will this last?" Humanity as we know it is different We've all changed somehow Togetherness has taken new meaning By forcing us to live in the Now. Now is the time To disconnect to connect Control what you can Let your YOU reconnect With yourself, with your spouse, With your children and your friends Take the time to love fully Allow your silent wounds to mend Inhale deeply Exhale slowly Count your blessings And hold them closely Physically separated Together at heart Family has always been family Whether near or apart The Now reminds us The world will keep turning And whether rich or poor We are all plagued by a yearning To be held To be seen For what we know as normal Or some sort of in between Take our lessons learned Live Life with each breath Cherish our gifts daily And never forget their depth The gifts of friendship, health and freedom The privileges we took for granted Mother Earth's treasures bestowed upon us Which we somehow allowed to become disenchanted Don't enable the fear To drown you in despair Obsessing on what you can't have A broken soul beyond repair Eyes wide open Look around you Feel His presence Let Love surround you It is not measured by distance, Nor is it something one must ration Love is beholding the present With acts of kindness and compassion The what-nots needn't matter Be mindful and be here Tomorrow is uncertain But today - you have the choice to persevere.
This hits home. Thank you.